The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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