Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize