Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
