I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize