i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
