Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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