i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
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Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
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They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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