She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
