Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
