Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize