why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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