we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
