Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
