I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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