I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
