:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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