just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just googled if crying burns calories
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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