you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
