bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
