3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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