hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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