can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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