I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
