Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
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He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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