Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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