Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
