Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize