Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
