We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you will always have a special place in my vag
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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