Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
