it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
