I just saw a hot homeless man
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
