waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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