dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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