my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
