so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize