"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
