i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
