I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Enjoy the penises
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
