A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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