i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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