I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
