...so i touched it.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
