OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
