Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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