just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
