I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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