what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
