I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
