sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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