WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
