It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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