AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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