I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
