She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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