I can text with my tongue
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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