I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
