Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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