check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
