I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
