At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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