Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
